


Every Bunny Needs Some Bunny

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Genie - Freeform, Happy Ending, Post Iron Man 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 15:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Iron Man 3, Tony Stark is a changed man. An unexpected event changes him even more than Pepper is quite ready to deal with. But Happy helps her cope with the situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Bunny Needs Some Bunny

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Happy looked at Pepper. The thumping and banging coming from the partially renovated villa didn't sound like construction. Besides it was Saturday and Tony had promised they were going to have a nice quiet weekend, without heavy equipment dredging the inlet so his yacht could have access, or pouring foundations for the helipad, or any of the other 'must haves' that resulted in huge amounts of noise. 

He stopped the car. "Maybe I'd better go in first, Pepper."

Pepper sighed. "It was too much to expect that Tony would take it easy any longer. We'll both go in, Happy."

Happy, being a gentleman, opened her car door, and then went ahead to open the broad, antique carved wood front door of the mansion. The door swung open and he stared for an instant, before slamming the door shut with a yelp.

"What is it, Happy?" Pepper dug in her purse for her mace and her emergency alarm.

"It's big. And it's. Pink?" The door trembled. There was a loud scraping noise. The door creaked. Happy leaned against it. "Run, Pepper!" he shouted an instant before the door snapped off its hinges and pushed him aside.

Pepper stared at the giant pink rabbit that nosed out of the door. It wasn't as large as the stuffed monstrosity Tony had given her last Christmas, but it was just as pink. It was definitely no toy. The eyes were big and brown. The nose was big and nervously twitching. The rabbit hopped out of the mansion and sat up, sniffing the air. When it rose, she saw it had a medallion on its chest, similar to the one the toy had worn. But this one read, "Tony". And the chest below was furless and scarred. She'd touched that scar too many times since Tony's operation not to recognize it.

"Oh, my God. Tony!" 

The rabbit dropped to all fours and began hopping away. Happy was still trying to wriggle out from under the door. He'd seen what she had, and waved her on. "I'm ok, get the boss!"

How is this my life? Pepper thought as she caught up to the rabbit and tugged on its fur. It didn't attack her, but neither did it pay her any attention, as it chewed on the expensive flowers Tony had imported for the garden. "Tony, stop that!" She got so frustrated she climbed onto his back and kicked him with her heels, like a cowboy.

Tony stopped dead, and flattened his ears, turning his head to look at her with one reproachful brown eye. 

"I'm sorry, but Tony, you can't eat the flowers. They might make you sick." 

Tony hopped over to behead another flowering bush. 

"Tony! Wiggle your ears if you understand me?"

The garden devastation continued. Pepper shouted and cajoled, but the only thing that had any effect at all was kicking him. She was relieved to see Happy come up after a few minutes, panting and scratched but otherwise unharmed. Pepper said, "We've got to get him in the house!"

Happy tried pushing, but Tony Bunny just sat down and cleaned his whiskers. After a few moments, Happy pulled back and pondered the situation. "I've got an idea!"

He ran into the house while Pepper was trying to persuade Tony not to taste-test a ridiculously rare almost black orchid. Happy returned quickly, waving a bunch of carrots. Pepper was never so happy to see organically grown produce in her life as when Tony's floppy pink ears rotated like radar dishes and centered on the carrots. 

"Atta boy, boss," Happy said. "Come and get your nice carrots."

Tony hopped back into the house willingly enough. Happy gave him the carrots in the sunken living room, and propped the entrance door back in place, using some tumbled furniture to brace it. A lot of things had been knocked over, scratched and gnawed. It looked like the aftermath of one of Tony's less destructive parties. Pepper stayed sitting on Tony's back and scratched him around the ears, which he seemed to appreciate.

"Jarvis?" Pepper asked, hoping Tony hadn't gnawed through the wiring, or whatever. "What happened to Tony?"

Jarvis answered. "I do not understand the mechanism, but I believe I observed the event of Mr. Stark's transformation into a lagomorph."

"Well, tell us what happened," Happy said as he fed carrots to Tony.

"Mr. Stark had discovered an artifact among the dredged debris. He thought it might make a suitable gift for Ms. Potts, and he proceeded to clean it. He was in the process of polishing it when a vapor emerged from it which clouded all my sensors. When they cleared, Mr. Stark was gone, and in his place was this animal."

"Wow," Pepper said weakly. She patted Tony's soft, soft fur. "I think you should go back to the old days and let me buy my own presents, Tony." She sighed. "Jarvis, where is this artifact now? And what is it?"

"It is under the leather couch to your right. It appears to be a simple brass jug."

Happy dug around the broken couch and emerged holding a brass bottle, with the remnants of a chipped lead seal on top. "Um, Pepper... is this what I think it is?" He handed it to her.

Pepper held up the bottle and peered cautiously into the bottle. A turbaned man waved back at her, cheerfully. She didn't know why she wasn't really surprised. But then it was Tony. If there was one unopened genie bottle in the world, Tony would find it. She picked up a cloth that used to be part of a hand-woven set of drapes and gave the bottle a brisk rub. She held tightly onto the bottle as the genie emerged.

"You turned my boyfriend into a rabbit," she said sternly. "I'm pretty sure he didn't ask for that. You're in violation of contract."

The genie shuffled and looked embarrassed. "It's not my fault. He didn't _say_ anything. He was just _thinking_ , and he's a very confusing thinker."

"Tell us about it," Happy muttered. He was scratching Tony under the chin and Tony was happily thumping a back leg.

"Well, I want my Tony back," Pepper said.

"I can't not fulfill his wish!" the genie protested. "He wanted to give you something to please you."

"Do I LOOK pleased?" Pepper snapped. 

"No, no. All right." The genie snapped his fingers and turned back to smoke, returning to his bottle. Pepper found herself sitting astride Tony's naked back, with Happy's fingers under his chin.

"Huh." Tony blinked up at them and then looked around. "Good party?" He wriggled his nose and then extracted a piece of carrot from between his teeth.

Happy rolled his eyes and got up. "I'll go call the contractors to clean up."

"Um, sorry?" Tony squirmed to look at Pepper with his big, brown eyes. "We were supposed to have a quiet weekend?"

"That's fine, Tony." Pepper got off of him and smiled. "The upstairs doesn't seem damaged. Let's go check out the bedroom."

"All right!" Tony hopped to his feet.

***

"Tony," Pepper said after he'd had a record-breaking (for him) five orgasms. "Aren't you sleepy?" 

"Nope," Tony grinned at her and gave her another kiss. "I feel like I could go all night. Want me to try?"

She stroked his hair. When her hand went behind his ears, they wriggled. "Well, maybe not _all_ night, Bunny." She smiled. "I mean, Tony."

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a nap. I woke up from a dream. I couldn't resist making the basic idea into a fic. I have some fun dreams.


End file.
